Lessons

“YES, MA’AM.”

~ kristin green

A quick lesson this time. I learned something early in my career that everyone should learn but few do.

I had a new student arrive in my classroom after attending a military high school for a few years. He was very quiet and attentive and when we finally had a chance to really speak, he kept referring to me as “Ma’am”. Now, I was in my early 30s at this point and I bristled at that. I know I made a joke about it and kind of gave him a hard time for calling me a name that made me feel ancient. He laughed and we went on with our day.

It wasn’t too much later in the day when I realized what I had done. I had been upset by a student who was being polite! How utterly ridiculous! When I saw him the next day, I apologized and told him he could call me ma’am anytime he wanted.

As teachers, especially high school teachers, we hear so much rudeness during our day that it becomes the norm. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN! This poor kid was being kind and respectful and polite and I didn’t like it. WHAAAAT?? I have never once since criticized or even joked when a student has been more formally polite than his classmates. Take politeness when you can get it!

BEES AND SNOW

focus photography of honeybee
~ kristin green

When you’re in college, it’s your whole world. It’s all you think and talk about; most of the people around you are going through the same things. Your entire focus is college.

It may not surprise you that, after 28+ years, I remember very little about college. What is surprising, however, is that I could have said the same thing after I’d been out five years. I went through college as a single mom (more on that in the future, I’m sure) so college had to share space in my brain with that. But there is one thing that did resonate enough that I still remember it and apply it to my classroom every year.

I had to take a summer class, an education class of some sort. While I have no memory of the subject matter, I vividly recall one event. The professor was going on with his lesson when suddenly there was a commotion in the front of the room. A bee was buzzing its way around our room and people were reacting. The bee made its way out and we carried on, but not before we all received these words of wisdom: “There are two things that you cannot compete with in the classroom. One is a bee and the other is the first snowfall of the season.”

Little did I know at the time but I would go on to remember that moment every single year of my career, every time a bee enters the room and every first snowfall. It is one of the truest things anyone has ever said. While the rest of college turned out to be fairly irrelevant, that piece of advice kept me from being the cranky teacher who ignores the bee and gets annoyed with the kids, or who angrily closes the blinds when it starts snowing.

Hopefully, you will catch these little moments when they occur. You never know when true education will happen!

HEAVY START BUT A VALUABLE LESSON

~ kristin green

I’ve been wanting/needing to tell this story for a few months but just haven’t had the emotional strength to tell it until now. I’m still not sure I could do it orally without crying so for now, writing will have to suffice.

My dad passed away suddenly on February 4th. He hadn’t been in great health but was home, functioning normally until suddenly he wasn’t. My mom found him already passed on that Sunday morning and the following week was a mix of sorrow and boredom. I didn’t go to work for the week. I had a mild cases of Covid at the time as well so I couldn’t have gone even if I wanted to. Between Sunday and Friday, we made the arrangements, ordered the flowers, spent time with family and friends, and waited. We weren’t able to have the visitation at the funeral home until Friday evening and the funeral Saturday morning.

My dad had been a high school physical education teacher for 30 years He also coached boys varsity soccer and wrestling for his entire career. Many of the people who stopped by the house that week were his former athletes. For those unfamiliar with that lifestyle, bonds are strong and lasting. Teachers have an impact for sure but coaches take it to a whole other level. As the only daughter, I spent my life in rarified air, having dozens of big brothers over the years, always being looked out for and protected. Those lifetime bonds extended to me, my younger brother and my mom as well.

The visitation at the funeral home was well attended, so much so the local police had to put an officer outside to help direct traffic. It didn’t hurt that some of the police officers had been my students over the years as well. Soccer players and wrestlers came from all over, some traveling from other states just to attend for a few minutes.

The next morning as my immediate family arrived for the service, a man was waiting. When I was introduced, I was dumbstruck. This man was like a celebrity to me as I had grown up with his pictures on my dad’s trophy wall. He had wrestled for my dad in the early 1970s and had flown in from Michigan for the service. My entire family was in awe that my dad had meant that much to him. he came back to the house for the repast afterwards and regaled everyone with stories of my dad back then. Many laughs were shared, as well as tears. Totally appropriate as my dad was known for his sense of humor.

But that wasn’t what I’ll remember most about that day. When we got up from the service at the funeral home that morning to walk across the street to the columbarium for the interment of my dad’s ashes, there was a homeless man lingering outside. I was a little curious but we proceeded over, as did he. The service was short and I watched as the man walked to the ashes, stood for a minute, then wandered off. He never spoke to anyone.

When we all went back to my childhood home for some food, I asked my dad’s former athletes if they knew who he was. They did. He had been a troubled student back in the 1970s that my dad tried to help. Tried to encourage him to play a sport. Was nice to him. But it never quite worked and the man has lived a difficult life. The guys said he lives somewhere in the woods outside of town. How this man knew that my dad had passed is a mystery to me. But somehow he knew and was drawn to pay his respects. A few days later when my mom was looking through the guest sign in book, the very last name was his.

If you are a teacher or coach and ever doubt your impact on students, don’t. While my dad will never know that this man found a way to say goodbye to him, my family knows and it meant the world. I always knew my dad was a father figure for many of his athletes but I never knew how deeply it affected some. Hang in there. I know our jobs of teaching and coaching are challenging and sometimes you wonder if you are doing any good. You are and you have to understand that you might never know how much.

Well, I couldn’t get through writing this without crying either.